YACHT ROCK, It's Sweeping the Nation

About a year ago my friend Remington asked me if I had ever heard of Yacht Rock. Remington is a real "liver of life", he enjoys skinny skiing, bullfights on acid and above all he is an avid boater. He wears his topsiders on and off the boat. So when he asked about yacht rock, I naturally assumed it was a code word for some kind of especially potent crack that rich people do on their boats. To clear up the confusion, Remmy sent me links to several sensational YouTube videos that in conjuction with an illegally parked Hyndai Elantra, made for a truly excellent mix tape.
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As it turned out, "Yacht Rock" is a series YouTube mockumentaries that originally debuted in 2005 on Channel 101 in New York. Based on the production quality of each "episode," I gather that channel 101 is the east coast equivalent of Wayne's World. Each episode follows the fictional trials and tribulations of main characters, Kenny Loggins played by creator Hunter Stair and Michael McDonald played by creator JD Ryznar as they battle evil pop villains Hall and Oats, The Eagles, Steely Dan and later Eddie Van Halen to dominate the smooth music charts. The best episode in my opinion is #7 where the obvious connection between Michael McDonald and Warren G. is explored.

The videos are pretty funny but more importantly they finally put a name to the brand of irritatingly mellow easy listening music that dominated the am airwaves between 1977 and 1984. For me this is primordial music, tunes played endlessly before my arms were long enough to reach up and change the radio dial, music embedded deep in my subconscious, car seat music. I was disgusted and fascinated.
At first I was just going to download a couple of really key songs. Then I thought I should at least get enough yacht rock greats to form a proper playlist. But pretty soon I couldn't stop, the strains of Gerry Rafferty's sax set me aflame in the glow of St. Elmo's fire. I was a scientist mapping a previously unknown music genome. Thank god I had to go to work, it was the only way to stop the Itunes bleed. Enter the Hyndai Elantra.
When I got outside, I discovered that some ahole had blocked in my driveway, it was impassable, I was trapped in my house and I couldn't go to work. For the first two hours I was outraged, I called the police, I called a tow truck, I started a vigil outside my house waiting to assault the car's owner as soon as they came back to claim it. But soon I was back on my yacht rock voyage and eventually I succumbed entirely to the smoothness of the music. I found Elvin Bishop hiding under a rock, I dusted off some vintage Toto, I discovered a previously unseen side of the Doobies and fifty bucks later I had created the best and what I believe to be the most exhaustive Yacht Rock playlist, ever. I never did catch that Elantra ahole but in hindsight maybe they were a music angel sent to steer me towards calmer waters, Koko's Ghost perhaps?

For your Itunes wandering pleasure, here is the ULTIMATE Yacht Rock playlist in all of its glory:

1. Sunshine (Go Away Today),  Jonathan Edwards
2. Steppin' Out, Joe Jackson
3. Sailing, Christopher Cross
4. Takin' It to the Streets, The Doobie Brothers
5. Baker Street, Gerry Rafferty
6. Rich Girl,  Daryl Hall & John Oates
7. What a Fool Believes, The Doobie Brothers 
8. Fooled Around and Fell in Love,  Elvin Bishop
9. If You Leave Me Now, Chicago 
10. Come Sail Away, Styx 
11. Time Out of Mind, Steely Dan 
12. Kiss On My List, Daryl Hall & John Oates 
13. On and On, Stephen Bishop 
14. I'd Really Love to See You Tonight, England Dan & John Ford Coley
15. Guitar Man, Bread 
16. Drift Away, Dobie Gray
17. Portable Radio, Daryl Hall & John Oates
18. Just Remember I Love You, Firefall 
19. This Is It, Kenny Loggins 
20. Love Will Find a Way, Pablo Cruise 
21. Ride Like the Wind, Christopher Cross
22. I Can't Go for That (No Can Do), Daryl Hall & John Oates 
23. It Keeps You Runnin', The Doobie Brothers)
24. Baby Come Back, Player The Best of Player
25. Hold the Line, Toto 
26. The Things We Do for Love, 10cc 
27. Lady '95, Styx
28. Higher Love, Steve Winwood
29. Livin' Thing, Electric Light Orchestra
30. I'm Not in Love, 10cc 
31. Blinded By the Light, Manfred Mann's Earth Band 
32. Believe In It, Michael McDonald 
33. Any Way You Want It , Journey
34. Sweet Freedom, Michael Mcdonald 
35. Caribbean Queen,  Billy Ocean
36. Biggest Part of Me, Ambrosia 
37. Don't Fight It, Steve Perry 
38. I Saw the Light, Todd Rundgren 
39. Brandy (You're a Fine Girl), Looking Glass 
40. Rosanna,  Toto 
41. Hard Habit to Break, Chicago 
42. You Are the Woman, Firefall 
43. Girl Can't Help It, Journey 
44. Sweet Freedom, Michael Mcdonald 
45. Oh Sherrie,  Steve Perry
46. Keep On Loving You, REO Speedwagon 
47. Your Love, The Outfield
48. Something About You,Level 42
49. Jane, Jefferson Starship

Eventually a party involving pants suits and crab dip evolved around the sweet strains of yacht rock. And of all of the playlists I have ever made, I had more requests for copies of this one. I followed Yacht Rock's wake around the Internet discovery a cover band called "Yacht Rock Review" performing yachtified covers. The nail in the coffin was when I heard Michael McDonald's "Believe In It" playing while in the freezer aisle of Trader Joe's. Yacht Rock, was officially sweeping the nation.


So how does the real Michael McDonald feel about the resurgence of his life's work in the semi-satiric form of Yacht Rock? 


When asked in an interview if he had ever owned a yacht he said "No, but I thought Yacht Rock was hilarious. And uncannily, you know, those things always have a little bit of truth to them. It’s kind of like when you get a letter from a stalker who’s never met you. They somehow hit on something, and you have to admit they’re pretty intuitive."


Well Michael, I can only hope that in this scenario, I'm the stalker.